Maybe I’m not enough strong

Maybe I’m not enough strong

I had endure for 3 weeks already

Maybe u all not really understand me

Maybe I never tell u all what I had face at here

Maybe I think that is my own problem so I just keep it and never tell u all

I not that kind of ppl which don noe mix with other

I not that kind of ppl which always keep silent

I not that kind of ppl prefer alone

But…

My team just got 2 ppl here

What can I do??

My supervisor always eat alone

And other team ppl like treat me as a mirror

Maybe they just tot my supervisor will bring me go eat with him??

I don noe..also don feel like want to guess anymore already

Is tired for me >.<

I got try a lot of way to mix with them

I also got ask them next time asks me for lunch…

But what I get…

Is just been ignore…

When I ask them “can teach me what u all doing now”

They will just ask me go complete what I support to do 1st..

At the beginning, I tot ”maybe after finish all my task they will teach me extra thing ”

But …guess what they say after i finish my task??

“since u gt nothing to do now, then I ask ur supervisor no need pay you salary for today la ”

What can I answer him??

Should I tell him I finish my entire thing as fast as I can after u say can teach me a new thing??

Can I?? I can’t!!!

At that moment I just feel sad and disappointed

And now I really give up

I don’t want keep servilely require them to wait for me lunch or teach me anything

And please don keep say me “我没有主动 “

Is hurt …

Lastly, I just want to apologize

Sorry for make u all shocked

Sorry for spoil all ur mood

Sorry Sorry Sorry

I will try to be more strong !!!

my internship life

Before i come for my internship ,i will think tat:
maybe will quite interesting and happy for me
maybe i can make a lot of new frens
maybe i can learn a lot of practical thing
maybe n maybe....

when once i come here:
there are no frens mix with me
there are totally bored
there are totally nt related to wat i learned

when once i at here, i juz feel like when can i finish my internship
is suffer for me!!!
especially when during lunch time
who can imagine tat such a big company with such a lot of ppl
but ...
no ppl will ask u for lunch
no ppl will ask u join them
no ppl will care how u settle ur lunch

i still remember,at first,one of them gt promise to me will call me for lunch with them together
because she noe tat i having my lunch alone
but ...
at last she never ask me at all until now >.<

even the uncle at the food stall oso better than them
at least he wil ask me "why u eat alone de,so pity de"
wat can i tell him??
should i say because i gt no frens??
so at tat moment, i juz feel like wanna cry
but i din do tat
i trust tat without any frens, i oso can settle all my thing alone
so i juz gv him a smile and continue eat my lunch
anyway
uncle, thx for ur concern, i really appreciate it.

so i choose to eat my breakfast at home n skip my tea time
coz i noe there will no such a person ask u to join them have breakfast,lunch or tea time together

when feel like helpless, gt no ppl can help u
when feel like sad, gt no ppl can console u
when feel like wan mix v them, they like treat u as a glass

and today...
suddenly one of them come n ask me again"how u settle ur lunch today,izit eat with ur bf?"
wat can i say??
should i tell him u all ignore me since i at here until now??
can i??
i don dare!!!
i juz can tell him "mostly i eat alone..."
and he promise to me AGAIN "next time i call u join us la"..
should i trust tat ??
i don noe ...
i don wan to make myself feel disappointed AGAIN
don dare to pay so high expectation already!!!

WITHOUT U ALL, I ALSO CAN HANDLE IT!!!
Lastly and the most important thing is..
i juz want to thx my bf
if without him, i really can't endure until now
thx him for accompany me msg during my lunch time and let me feel tat i am nt alone all the time
thx him for accompany me when i feel bored
thx him for concern about me ^^